just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
