let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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