He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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