dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Naked. naked and bneed help.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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