i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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