toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize
