Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
