Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
