I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
