I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Randomize
