I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
