How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
