I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
