absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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