sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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