she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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