remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
