He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
