Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
