How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
