..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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