I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
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