is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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