Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
