yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
