Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Randomize
