my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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