i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
