yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
