i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
