I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
