If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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