They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
As shirtless as possible
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Randomize
