omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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