He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
