No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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