Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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