from now on my penis is your penis
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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