Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Just invented taco cereal.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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