Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
