We won't sleep together?
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
