Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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