Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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