He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Randomize
