yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
