He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
