Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
