Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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