She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
