I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
