There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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