i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Randomize
